Grandma

My father was one of thirteen children.  Growing up, I never thought about how hard things must have been for my grandmother.  Times were hard and just surviving was a constant struggle.  She was an expert at making things stretch, organizing, and multitasking and she often did all of this with at least one baby on her hip.

In the last year I have thought about her quite a bit.  Faced with my own trials, I have had to push forward in faith more than ever before.  I have had to put on a smile and keep a positive attitude while one bad thing after another came flying at us at the speed of light.  I learned to think outside the box, scrimp, save and make old things new again.  Above all I learned how important sacrifice and compromise are. 

Grandma mastered all of these skills and without the added benefit of the technology and medical adavances we have today.  She was amazing!

My family on Mother's Day 2010

Grandma and just a few of her kids.

So I draw from her strength through these troubled times.  I feel her over my shoulder, nodding in approval at the choices I make.  I hope I make her proud.

The Baby Bug

I've got it bad! Lately it seems like A LOT of women I know are about to or have recently given birth.  I am ecstatic for them (really I am), but each time I say congratulations, there's a little voice in my heart that reminds me, that will never be me again.  I know a lot of people would say that I am crazy for feeling that way, and seven years ago when I agreed to shutting down the baby factory I probably would have agreed with them.  But I had no idea that I would ache to hold another newborn. I beat myself up for this, because I know there are women out there who would give their right arm for one child, let alone the seven beautiful, healthy babies that I have been blessed with. 

Dh reminds me that someday I have grandchildren to look forward to (please GOD let that be a loooong way off!) so until they come along I am just gonna baby my kids, whether they like it or not!

I Am Empowered!

I remember as a child I truly thought I could change the world. Of course, back then, I romaticized being an adult and assumed that adults could control everything more effectively than a child could. It didn't take me long to realize how wrong I was. Over the years I learned that you can't control your circumstances at all. Things happen! Jobs get lost, money gets tight, people get sick, couples break up. Theses are the times when we feel most helpless.

It's easy to huff and puff and blame the world for how it wronged you. But if you do that you never grow. True power is facing difficult situations with a positive attitude! This is when you truly grow. I have been witnessing some "growth" going on around me lately and it has caused me to take a step back and realize that, though I can't control what happens to me, I can control how I respond to it.

I am going to put this into practice. My hope is that by approaching tough situations with a positive outlook, I can help at least one person do that same, and it will have a ripple effect down the line.

In other words, I am still trying to change the world!